Hello beautiful goddess.
One of the greatest resources I can ever recommend to you, on your journey of self care and wellness, is the book ‘The Desire Map’, by the incredible Danielle La Porte. Rather than feeling empty once we’ve achieved our goals, Danielle invites you to develop ‘goals with soul’, based around how you want to feel every single day.
Today, it is my honour to interview for you L’Erin Alta, a Desire Map facilitator, teacher, writer and healer. Based in Seattle, USA, L’Erin travels the world bringing Desire Map workshops to women. I’m fortunate enough to be collaborating with her for her upcoming workshop next month in Sydney. For more information on her Australian tour, please go to: www.sisterfire.com/desire-map-workshop
We sat down pre-tour for a juicy chat on all things desire, mindfulness and looking after this divine life and body we have been gifted.
TNG: For those goddesses who are unfamiliar with The Desire Map, could you please explain how it works, and how it has affected you personally?
LA: Absolutely! Ultimately, every choice we make is about how we think it's going to make us feel. The job, the marriage, the degrees, the business, the social status, the bank account are only important because of how we think we'll feel when we achieve them -- powerful, smart, valuable, important, successful, worthy, etc.
So we strive, we push, we sacrifice, we struggle, only to arrive at our goal and realize that the feeling we thought we would experience when we got there, is still evading us. Even when things look beautiful from the outside, we can feel empty and disconnected on the inside.
The Desire Map Workshop is about discovering how you want to feel first – what in the Desire Map world we call our core desired feelings – then creating a life to experience those feelings – regardless of what is going on around you or how other people are behaving.
I had brain surgery a few years ago and recovery was rough. I couldn’t open a door, sleep through the night and was rocked daily by uncontrollable emotions.
My core desired feelings are: Free, Whole, Light, In Bloom and In Communion.
Even when I was physically unwell and consumed by pain, knowing my core desired feelings helped me make small, moment-by-moment choices to keep me aligned with how I wanted to feel internally. This included drinking only fresh juice the week immediately after surgery, not accepting phone calls or visitors for two weeks after I returned home, daily Lush baths, asking for (and receiving) mail instead of flowers, and giving myself permission to take my time and ask for what I wanted.
Knowing how I wanted to feel during such a vulnerable, transformative and challenging time changed everything and truly helped me understand the immeasurable value of The Desire Map.
TNG: What gives you the greatest joy in your work as a teacher, writer and healer?
LA: My greatest joy is feeling completely connected to the Universe as I serve and support my women in uncovering and living their soul’s deepest desires. Together, we create a sanctuary where healing and transformation is not only possible, it is inevitable.
Anchored in ancient and contemporary global spiritual practices, I have been facilitating transformational healing workshops and retreats for the last 15 years. Witnessing women heal old, hidden wounds and finally become courageous enough to leave the job, ask for the raise, create the business, start divorce proceedings, say no and mean it, is one of the most rewarding parts of my work.
TNG: How do you bring yourself back to your centre in moments of stress and pressure?
LA: To keep my life as stress- and pressure-free as possible, instead of avoiding or denying what is happening because it doesn’t look how I think it should, I accept it. That doesn’t mean I always like it, but resistance is a barrier to healing. The moment we can accept that what’s happening is actually happening, an entirely new world of possibility opens up.
Then I ask myself, “How do I want to feel?” and move forward in alignment with my core desired feelings. It is a moment-by-moment choice – a daily practice that keeps me focused on creating a life of true freedom and fulfilment, instead of one that is dictated by external expectations and duties.
TNG: Do you have any favourite self care rituals?
LA: I’ve recently been experimenting with giving myself permission to fail, to get things wrong, to make mistakes, to be a full-fledged human being – no judgment or criticism allowed. And it’s the most amazing self care ritual ever!
This requires deep compassion, love and trust that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing and is proving to be one of my favorite self-care rituals.
My other favorite self-care rituals – Sleep, 30-60 minutes of daily meditation, time in nature, walking my dog, crystal, energy and earth medicine, intentional internet-free silence, healthy boundaries, delicious food and amazing orgasms.
TNG: As a woman who travels often internationally, how do you ensure you find time and space for wellness?
LA: Sustainable wellness is an integral part of my daily life so it doesn’t require additional time or space. Because I’m rooted in my core desired feelings, all of my choices are crafted around my wellness. This informs how I show up in my business, my body, my relationships, my family. Wellness is the rule, not the exception.
When we’re living in alignment with our soul's desires, we create soul-deep relationships with people who actually understand and appreciate us. Our work fulfills us creatively and financially. We honor our bodies with what we put in and on it. We say yes and no because we mean it - not out of obligation. We stop waking up every morning exhausted and dreading the day. We let go of what is no longer working and get crystal clear about what we’re doing next with in life.
When we live in alignment with our soul's desires, we experience life in the flow. We speak our truths powerfully, lovingly, compassionately. We trust our choices and honor life. Each yes builds on top of the last and leads us back home.
You can discover more about L'Erin over at her site: http://www.sisterfire.com/
My Core Desired Feelings are: Radiant, Peaceful, Inspired, Infinite and Connection. To explore what yours might be, visit: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/cdf/
As always, I’d love to hear from you, beautiful goddess. What are your thoughts on The Desire Map and Core Desired Feelings? Paint a picture for us below in the comments.
Remember, other like-minded sisters come here each week for insight and inspiration. Your suggestion could be exactly what she needs to hear right now, to inspire her on her own wellness and self care journey.
Thank you so much for reading this week’s Monday Meditation.
In love and gratitude