Hello beautiful goddess
Today's post originally had the title of 'An Afternoon with Marianne Williamson'... I was fortunate enough to have bought a ticket to her sold out workshop in Sydney yesterday. Marianne is an internationally acclaimed spiritual author and lecturer. Sponsored by The Wake Up Project, the workshop was positioned to help attendees "discover how to transform your relationships to unleash love, fulfilment and genuine happiness". Sounds pretty powerful right?
However... the Universe in all of her wisdom had other plans for me... I got my period the day before, and was in deep pain. Although I manage my hormones and cycle as naturally as possible, once a month I'm usually wiped out of all energy and reserves. No amount of pain relief or hot water bottles seem to help, unless I simply surrender to the warmth of my bed and focus on my breathing.
It has in the past brought up feelings of panic and frustration, when the first contractions of discomfort begin. I would then push through, show up with a mask of disconnection from my body and generally have to leave whatever commitment I had early to arrive home in an exhausted, crumpled heap. These days, if I am the one facilitating an event, or have an appointment with a client, I still how up, but from a much more vulnerable and softer place.
When I woke up yesterday, I knew that I had two options: to self care or not to self care. If I went, I knew that I would be uncomfortable the whole day and not take in much of what the divine Marianne was sharing. I knew that I was already pretty drained and would end up with an even bigger deficit of energy. And I knew that the two main reasons I wanted to go were to 1. not lose the money I had spent on the ticket and 2. I was meeting a goddess there who has recently come into my life and already means a lot to me. Basically, I didn't want to let my bank account or her, down.
After much soul searching, I listened deeply to my heart. She was begging me not to go, to stay in bed and self care. After all, isn't that what I would have recommended to a client, if she would ask me? A thought did cross my mind during the morning - perhaps I could go for a few hours, sit at the back and then leave when I've had enough? Thank goodness I listened to my heart and stayed put. After lunch, the pain came back with a vengeance and it was all I could do but fall asleep on the couch in my husbands arms, wrapped in a blanket.
So, beautiful goddess, I put it to you that our bodies will seemingly 'fail' us from time to time, throughout our lives. It may be before an important work meeting. It may be on someone's birthday. It may be prior to a catch up with someone you haven't seen in a long time. Or it may even be when you have tickets to a special event that you have been looking forward to for some time. But the honest truth is, that after choosing self care, I feel so much better today. Which means I can write this post to you. Which means that my energy reserves are nice and full again. Which means that I am able to practice what I preach.
I realise that what I am suggesting goes against everything we are told by our families, peers and even advertising. "Soldier on", "power through" or "suck it up, princess" are common positions to hear. But where does that get you, in the end, really...? I will admit to feeling pangs of jealousy over the last 24 hours, whenever I come across the post of an industry peer, with a photo of Marianne on stage. But I trust the Universe. I know that this all happened for a reason. And life takes on many twists and turns... perhaps I will be able to see Marianne in the future, and be in a different place to really hear what she has to say...
Have you chosen self care instead of soldiering on? What feelings did this bring up for you? I would love to hear from you in the comments below. Please also share this post with any sister who would benefit from some soul reflection on self care.
Thank you so much for reading this week’s Monday Meditation.
In love and gratitude