Hello beautiful goddess
I'd like to share with you the story of my client Katherine, a gentle and articulate mother and wife, who runs her own business from home.
When we first met on Skype, I was captured by her stunning blue eyes and gorgeous smile. Over time, it was apparent that she didn't see herself in this light at all, to the point of feeling unattractive and unworthy.
She would often compare herself with celebrities, losing track of time looking at images online, carefully observing their fancy clothes that she couldn't possibly afford at the time. When watching a movie, her instinct was to compare even her husband to the main actor, and imagine what life would be like with him by her side.
With the onslaught of images on social media, we are all guilty of being unfair on ourselves and comparing our lives to the 'show reel highlights' of others.
Katherine was also incredibly mindful and practiced meditation regularly. She could rationally see what was going on in her mind, but the compulsion in her to compare was incredibly strong, stemming from a core wound of childhood insecurities. Knowing that this chronic behaviour was unhealthy, she would then ban herself from looking at certain sites or programs.
This restrictive behaviour allowed her to feel in control for a time, which flooded her body with temporary belief. After a while however, a bubbling sensation would come up from deep inside her, the comparison bug clawing at her insides.
Dr Carl Jung said it best, "what we resist, persists".
Overwhelmed with this push/pull of urges in her mind, we discussed it in a Wellness Coaching session together. My recommended coping strategy might seem somewhat unconventional - indulge in the feeling. As what you resist, very much persists, attempting to push certain experiences away only serves to draw more of the same to ourselves. Through focusing on what we don't want, we attract more of it.
I recommended that she follow the feeling when it arises, and to really follow it all the way down to the bottom, to the depths of her soul. To explore what it tasted like, looked like, even smelt like - this need for comparison. But only for 5 minutes. She would put a timer on and give herself this chance to scratch the itch, and then stop. Acknowledge what is there, roll out the welcome mat and know there is nothing inherently 'wrong' with it.
My advice was for her to be attentive to any commentary about the experience. There is no need to fix or change anything. Wanting to fix it will create more of it. Simply seeing it is enough. If it is true that what you resist persists, the opposite is equally true... namely, that what you embrace dissolves. Negative states persist because we give them energy and importance through giving them all of our attention.
When we offer no resistance, they wither and fade away.
Over the course of time, she noticed that she wouldn't even need the whole 5 minutes to compare - even a few, deep moments of reflection were enough to make her realise that she could drop her resistance to it, and know that her feelings of childhood fear were no longer needed in her adult life to keep her safe.
I love being a Wellness Coach, because connecting with another woman on a deep and sacred level is one of the highest forms of energy exchange I can imagine. Holding space for someone to reflect, release and renew is a true privilege.
Now the question is, how can we bring more light and love into YOUR daily life?
Let me show you how...
I'm offering YOU, my beautiful goddesses, the chance to work 1:1 with me for free.
The first 5 women to send me an email (email@example.com) will receive a 1 hour Wellness Breakthrough session via Skype. During this time, we'll explore:
- The biggest challenge holding you back in life right now
- What your goals and dreams are in this area
- Deep realisations around why this challenge has been standing in your way
Reserve your session by sending me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org), but don't delay, because these will go quickly!
I look forward to connecting with you.
In love and gratitude