spiritual single searching

Spiritual, Single & Searching was born out of a feeling of wanting to share the wild ride from troubled wife, to finding love again in my mid-thirties, whilst not wanting to settle - ever. I believe in leading by example and have come to learn that my purpose, passion, vision and mission in life is to teach others to love themselves first and then love their partner – fiercely.

To those kind souls who have said to me, “let it go, it will happen when you least expect it”, I say the following:

When you are hungry, all you can think of is food to fill your belly.

When you are poor, your only concern is finding a way to pay the next bill.

When you are overweight, you count calories until you become cross eyed.

When your next career opportunity comes along, you burn the midnight oil to prepare.  

As I’ve said before, I was born a lover.

Rather than come from a place of desperation or longing, I’m loving myself more deeply than ever before.

I’m open to advances from men who are worthy of me and I of them.

No longer do I engage in scarcity mentally or worry about ending up a lonely cat lady (although I do love a good-looking feline!).

I hope these stories inspire you to keep loving, yourself and others. Part Carrie Bradshaw confessional, part Danielle La Porte ‘no bullshit, you’ve got this babe’, my wish is that by sharing my journey of calling in my king, you can learn from the mistakes I’ve proudly made!

My ex-husband is a part time model, full time construction worker. Cliché, I know. His latest campaign is up on a shop window in Bondi Beach, on the main road that I navigate my heart and car around these days.

If this blog were a TV sit com, the opening scene would zoom in on my smiling face, full of joy on the way to another date, to meet yet another seemingly ‘conscious man’. I would give a friendly wave to the frozen image of my ex as I drove past his billboard, knowing that we were both somehow in on the joke of how bizarre this all was. All of the changes that have transpired since we separated lives almost two years ago now, but both of us the better for it.

But back to the opening scene of me in the car. I found parking right outside a hipster health food restaurant, to meet my most recent adventure in love: a blonde Bondi Brit, *Alistair. I didn’t find him physically attractive, but was drawn in by our countless common interests and ability to chew the fat on anything from quantum physics to our favourite album’s from the 90’s. The fact that my mentor also taught him Vedic meditation was a huge point in his favour, although we didn’t actually meet through him (the coincidences that have come to pass through my love life do not cease to cause me some serious wonder).

So my divine intervention and a lesson from the universe?

Pay attention. A man will reveal his red flags within the first date. Seriously, pay attention, please.

Alistair was four months fresh out of a broken engagement, I had a strong intuition that he was not looking for a relationship. He confirmed my suspicion at the end of our first date. Once we had spent a lovely night consisting of great food, amazing conversation and kissing, of course. When I gave him an off the cuff compliment, his response was "whatever you do, don't fall in love with me". Yes, that would have been the moment to pay attention!

We both looked at each other wistfully and with respect, at what could have been, had we been on the same page. Him: casual dating that allowed him to fuck other women. Me: simply enjoying each other’s company, not rushing anywhere, exclusively.

At this point in the episode, the viewer really hopes that they manage to work things out. And unfortunately, that’s exactly what we attempted. Like two magnets, we kept contacting each other, and agreed to go out to dinner again with the delusion that we had crossed over to reason. Him: she’s up for casual. Me: he’s open to seeing where it goes, exclusively.

Our second date ended with us passing smouldering grandfather sage over each other’s aura’s to cleanse the energy (all my spiritual girls moaned with envy when I told them, as it was his idea) and our third date consisted of a vegetarian degustation dinner with matching juices for each course (no, I’m not kidding). He didn’t drink alcohol or coffee, smoke or take drugs. He was gluten, sugar and dairy free. He made me laugh hysterically. He was incredibly intelligent and aroused me mostly with his quick witted mind. He went to a weekly men’s group. He meditated twice a day. Can you hear the sound of the boxes going tick, tick, tick?

The one deal breaker? His complete avoidance of commitment at forty-three years of age.

By the third date, enough oxytocin had been released around him that I began to find him more physically attractive. What I also found very attractive was how much he seemed to desire me. Women want to be hunted and desired. The tea he had made us in his apartment was left to cool down altogether as we allowed all reason to fly out the window…

Once back on the couch, we listened to music until late. He played the guitar, I sang along and wore his t-shirt. When the question of me spending the night came up, the look on his face was one of utter horror, and all sense of unity disappeared as quickly as a sun shower. “Umm… sure… as long as you know this isn’t heading towards a relationship.”

Remember what I said about the red flags? I really hope you’re paying attention, dear reader, and save yourself this kind of humiliation. It’s the main reason I share these stories with you, after all. I walked out of his apartment and requested that he never contact me again.

It seemed a cheap pass on his request to let him know I got home safely.

My simple advice and universal learnings:

Communicate openly and honestly about what you’re looking for, and if it doesn’t match up, there are plenty more fish in the sea baby. Never assume that the person you’re dating has magically changed their mind, unless you’ve had a conversation that confirms this. And most of all pay attention often, as actions speak louder than words.   

The episode would end with a shot of me driving home on Bondi Road, winking at the billboard of my ex, and saying “better luck next time, eh?!”.

Spiritual, Single & Searching



*Alistair's name has been changed to ensure that this article is written more as a tool for growth rather than shaming the person… as Queen B sings, ‘My momma taught me better than that’.



Sometimes, when you’re unsure of what next step to take, the best thing to do, is to stop...

After my recent ‘David experience’, I’ve gingerly attempted to interact with other men romantically, with no great success. I’ve asked my closest circles if romance is perhaps dead…? It seems that gone are the days of red roses and love songs, and enter stage left the breath taking effort of a text message that simply says (wait for it…) “hey”. Insert face palm emoji here…

I’m in the fortunate position of having an army of wonderfully supportive, loving and truly fierce women in my life. I am practically drowning in them. In no way do I mean to sound ungrateful, for without them, I don’t know how I would make it through daily life. However, I miss the days of my misspent youth where that same army was a bunch of smelly rocker dudes who I would drink beer and play pool with, laugh at smutty jokes and discuss which band we would see play that weekend.  

We all require a certain amount of balance in our lives of who we spend time with, and whilst Mr Fiorella presents himself (read: I’m in a self imposed dating hiatus), it seems the Universe has heard my plea for masculine energy. I have some amazing brothers who have come (or come back) into my life. Whilst not one is based in my city, I know that I could call each of them in their time zone and be truly supported.

It’s often debated whether friendship with a member of the opposite sex can work. Lines can blur or unrequited affections can become increasingly painful over time. I’ve found it’s best to be upfront and draw a clear line in the sand from early on and take that person as they are (this is in fact the secret to any relationship). For me, spending time with males who I’ve no intention of becoming involved with is an incredibly healing way of delving into that yang energy, without getting burned.

Two of my favourite ‘brother’s from other mother’s’ came into my life in completely different ways, yet I trust them both implicitly and feel that they see a slightly different side to me than my girlfriends do.  

The Brother

Jerry* and I met through my best friend, who insisted that I contact him when I moved for a spell to London last year. Although we’d met before, it took hearing his Aussie twang in that lonely, grey city to see clearly the warmth and sincerity that flew out of his every pore. The fact that he had a girlfriend and I was in the early days of a troubled relationship made it easy for us to move straight into the friend’s zone and never look back.

Spending time together was as easy as breathing, and the more abusive and torturous things turned with my former flame, the more pissed off Jerry became. I found it so sweet (still do) how frustrating he found my some what questionable choices in men. He became a haven for me during one of the worst times in my life, with no close friends or family around me, and that loyalty is something I’ll never forget. Our online chats are hilarious (with lots of Aussie slang) and we always catch up for dumplings when he’s back in town. My favourite part of our friendship? He’s offered to be my personal ‘dating app’ for guy advice and approval when choosing a new partner. It comes in very handy and I truly wonder if he’s lived to regret that offer…!

The Ex Boyfriend

Michael* is my favourite ex boyfriend. I’ve never felt all my complex parts so seen, heard and understood as they were with him. Working together at an advertising agency 10 years ago, we struck up a close friendship straight away. Whilst my eyes were focused on all the ‘shiny peacocks’ in our department, he became my safe place at work and eventually after hours too. I remember sitting on some rocks at the beach late one night, when he confessed his feelings towards me. His persistence paid off and we dated for close to a year. Once the relationship ended and the dust had settled a bit, to our mutual surprise, we became best friends. We would tell each other about our romantic escapades and bond over music, movies, books, art and philosophy.

Things took a strange turn, and we found ourselves becoming friends with benefits. Neither of us wanted to be in a relationship with the other again, but we were so familiar and connected, that it was the best of both worlds. As they often do, this arrangement came to a grinding halt when I decided I just couldn’t take the pain and confusion anymore. Over the years we drifted apart, lost touch and this saddened us both. It’s my belief that all relationships go through different stages of healing and incarnations, as people grow and evolve.

After reconnecting on Facebook a few years back, we’ve been lightly touching base and reconnecting slowly. Recently, we got the urge to have a Skype call and swap stories about my life in Sydney and his in Vienna. I don’t think either one of us was expecting it to last three hours, or for it to feel like no time had passed, or to be able to have a truly healthy friendship once again. He will always have a place in my life, and I in his, for this kind of kindredship does not come along every day.

Let this month’s post serve as an open love letter to all those friends we have of the opposite gender who provide the yin to our yang or yang to our yin. May they know the juiciness and fraternity/sisterhood they bring to our lives, without the complication of love or expectation.

Spiritual, single and searching,



*Brother's names have been changed to protect their identity. Their written consent of this content on Messenger implies that they're ok with what I wrote... I hope...


Fiona Horne

"I'm grateful for the good times,

I'm even more grateful for the bad times" - Fiona Horne

Growing up as a Catholic school girl in the Nineties was no mean feat, as I felt completely out of place amongst my peers. More interested in expressions of spirituality than manicures, I sought my solace amongst the esoteric books of the store where I worked as a teenager. One of the authors who influenced me the most was none other than Fiona Horne.

Fiona launched a career in the entertainment industry as the lead singer of Aussie electro-rock band Def FX, before authoring several best-selling books internationally about modern Witchcraft. 

In her forthcoming autobiography, 'The Naked Witch', Fiona shares her fascinating story for the first time. From growing up in Sydney in the Seventies and finding a sense of acceptance in paganism, to the Nineties where she had Hollywood, and the world, at her fingertips.

Fast forward to today, and I am pinching myself to announce her as this month's guest on NOURISHED! I wonder if my fifteen year old self would believe me if I told her...

We discuss:

+ How Fiona came to be the face of modern Witchcraft

+ Her new book, 'The Naked Witch', how it illustrates her own journey of self-acceptance and tips for inviting it into your own life

+ Why being of true service is such a great tool for getting out of your own way

+ Fiona's changing relationship with money and how it's helped her lead a simpler life

+ Why meditation and mindfulness helped to keep her centred at the height of fame

+ The lessons we can learn from the teenagers and children in our lives

+ Her humanitarian work in her new US Virgin Island home

Find out more about Fiona: www.fionahorne.com

I'd love to know what you thought about our conversation in the comments below - how have you come to invite deeper levels of acceptance in your life?

Thank you for listening!

In love and gratitude




spiritual, single & searching p1

I was born a lover. I remember my father having to sit me down when I was five years old and asking if I could wait until I was six to have a boyfriend. This proved impossible, as Jean-Jac and I created a ‘love café’ on the swings of our kinder garden.

Since then, I have learnt so much from the opposite sex on my spiritual journey, both good and bad. These lessons will form part of a new monthly blog series, ‘Spiritual, Single & Searching’, that I hope will inspire you to keep loving.

Keep loving yourself first and foremost. Keep believing that you may meet someone truly special, simply walking down the street. And keep searching for your bliss – whatever that may look like.

“Were you at Eckhart Tolle last Thursday?”

The fact that a man would ask such a question took my breath away. This is the spiritual girl’s version of “you had me at hello”.

I met David* on Bumble, a modern dating app, touted as the modern feminists version of Tinder (yet another dating app), as women are required to make the first move. I found it attracted a very different type of man: confident, successful, open minded… but more on what I think of dating apps later.

David was an intoxicating combination of everything I thought I could ever want: born in Byron Bay (Australia’s most ‘conscious’ community), a successful entrepreneur, lived in a posh postcode, drove a Porsche, was supremely funny, a spectacular conversationalist and without any doubt in my mind: the best lover I had ever had.  

He came on strong in the beginning by ‘super liking’ my profile and being very affectionate and considerate with his messages. We ‘met’ on a Sunday morning and by Tuesday night we went out on our first date. I like a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. The night went mostly very well, as he seemed practiced in making a good first impression on a woman. Like rolling thunder clouds however, red flags started to pop up from early on. He made an incredibly rude criticism about my hair, had nothing but bad things to say about the partner of a friend of his we bumped into and seemed horrified by the mere mention of the word 'future' – with me or anyone else! I got into my car that evening feeling like I’d had a nice enough time, but wasn’t sure I’d hear from this seeming player again, and wasn’t too fussed either way.

I was wrong – 7am the following morning he was sending me romantic text messages about our date.  And so began a cat and mouse game that lasted for two months. He would chase, I would retreat, he would chase more, I would concede and seek connection, he would retreat completely.

I placed so much of my worth as a human being in his hands, and eventually the house of cards came tumbling down. At my core however, I am incredibly, deeply grateful for the experience. It has taught me so much about myself and what I deserve moving forward, lessons that I share with you in the hope that you can apply these to your own life – to realise just how strong and special you are.

Money isn’t everything

David literally owned every modern convenience that money could buy and enjoyed an incredibly lavish lifestyle. Yet he was an insomniac. He could stay awake through heavy duty sleeping pills and needed to sleep with noise cancelling head phones. When we would go out for dinner, he would be incredibly dissatisfied either with the wine, the food or the service – or all of the above. As most of his empire was run out of Asia, there were constant struggles with head office or a deal that was paining him.

My business mentor, Selena Soo, once told me that ‘there’s a devil at every level’. Whilst I have worked on so many of my own money blocks and become far more responsible with my financial health, I would never want to live a life that caused me so much stress and anxiety, that I constantly live in a state of seeking perfection in everything and everyone (good luck with that) - and therefore in a constant state of suffering. No amount of money is worth that. Note taken!

How to end a relationship mindfully

Prior to my arrival to host a meditation retreat in Bali, David was up to his old trick of pulling away and I could palpably feel it. It had been a few days since we’d spoken, so just before heading to dinner with our guests, I decided to call him. After fifteen minutes of exchanging awkward pleasantries, the truth came out: he had slept with another two women since we had been dating (if I can even believe that number).

My mentor Tom Cronin often talks about time slowing down, Matrix style, in moments of trauma once you’ve been meditating for some time. This is exactly what happened for me. I didn’t react outwardly, admonish him or cry. My lack of response threw him into a narcissists typical reaction – the blame game (more on that below). He told me it was my fault for assuming certain things and spoke in an aggressive tone that I had seen him use on other people, and knew that one day it would be my turn. Instead of becoming angry or becoming upset, I spoke in the calmest voice I could muster. I interrupted him and thanked him for being honest with me, as now I knew the truth of where we stood and could make my own decisions based on the facts. This completely took him by surprise and we decided to let the dust settle. In my mind however, it was over. He of course thought I would still be interested in his magnificence and attempted to rekindle things. I told him it had been a pleasure getting to know him and wished him all the best. He wished me all the best figuring men out (again, please see the definition of a narcissist below).

There is a deep satisfaction that comes from regaining your voice and power back, and not losing yourself to the emotion that comes from a painful situation. The next time you find yourself at the end of a losing battle, don’t match the person’s energy and desire for conflict. Drop in to stillness and discover how truly powerful that can be (and avoid the satisfaction of them seeing your tears!).

Desperately seeking narcissists

In her spectacular new book, ‘White Hot Truth’, Danielle LaPorte writes: “You know who can sniff out empathetic people like bloodhounds? Highly narcissistic people. You’d think that because empathetic people, particularly women, are more in tune with energy and our own feelings, that we’d know immediately when someone else has jacked into our life force and is sucking on it hard. But, since we’re committed to the journey and all, we just keep tolerating it.” David was a walking, talking definition of a narcissist: a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. I think the fact that in Korea, people line up for his autograph, probably doesn’t help the situation any.

You’d think after my abusive relationship last year with a narcissist, I would have learnt my lesson. Growing up, I was always put in the middle of my family as the ‘peacemaker’. I came to believe that this was how I could win approval and praise, by ‘fixing’ things, people and situations. This is the same thinking I have been applying to my relationships. Narcissists are generally incredibly self-loathing by nature and require a lot of constant praise and attention to feel good about themselves. As such, they are incredibly emotionally unavailable and cat nip for someone like me who wants to heal those wounds. Well enough is enough. With you as my witness, I am ready to release expectations and preconceived notions, circular patterns and fearful emotions...

False dating economies

One of my closest girlfriends met her beautiful fiancé on Tinder – they are my favourite couple to hang out with, and have one the healthiest relationships I’ve ever witnessed. I’ve heard many success stories from dating apps, and how those connections have resulted in marriages and babies, or both. However personally, from January to June of this year, I’ve had nothing but disaster after disaster. David’s number one piece of advice for them is to ‘never assume’ when meeting people online. Well, didn’t those words come to ring in my ears later…

It’s my belief that in a city like Sydney, or any other big metropolis, it creates a false economy. It seems that the trend is now to date several people at the same time and even sleep them with all, until you can decide which one you’d like to pursue things more seriously with – if at all. My idea of dating is that you connect with one person at a time, give them the honour, time and respect they deserve. If you’re not feeling it, you’re free to move on to the next person. I don’t have much spare time for anything else! If a person knows that they can swipe 10 more dates by the end of the week, they don’t feel like they have to invest all that much energy into you. They’re probably chatting right now to a dozen other people, all for fear of missing out on what they next profile might bring. I’ve deleted them all from my phone and believe now in the power of putting my intentions for the right man on paper and doing the most magical thing of all now – letting go and trusting that the right person will come at the right time. In the meantime, there’s a lot of life to be lived! 

Heal your mommy/daddy issues

My father has always been a huge source influence for me and I placed him on a pedestal from a young age. Sadly, the last 10 years or so have seen crack after crack appear in the surface until our relationship became almost non-existent. It’s no coincidence that David reminded me in some ways of my father, and the closer he and I became, the less I would reach out to my dad. Not long after it was all over and I found myself in one of the darkest days of grief, I drove over to my parents place and sat down with him for a conversation I think neither of us will forget.

I decided to draw a line in the sand and forgive all of the past grievances I was holding so defiantly against him. He’s turning eighty-six this year and I’d really rather spend the twilight of his life enjoying his wit and intelligence, than resenting that he’s not Wayne Dyer incarnated. I don’t ever want to enter into another relationship again to try and sort out my ‘daddy issues’ – for now, if I have any, I’d rather just tell the man himself!

We’re stronger where we’re broken

If I’m going to share this story with you truthfully, then I need to also share the aftermath. Although I ultimately ended it, the pain of losing him ripped open so many old wounds: love equals disappointment, I must have done something wrong, I am unworthy of true love and I will end up alone. These thoughts and flashes of the good times would swirl and dance around my mind from dawn until dusk. For a few months, I retreated from the online world and from most of my friends to lick my wounds. It was a dark and scary time as I knew David was only the catalyst for needing to feel emotions I had stored deep down in my subconscious.

My pattern has also been to go back to my lover and ask for more punishment, rather than quit whilst I was ahead. This has been the first time that I not only haven’t contacted a man afterwards, I also rejected his pathetic attempt to contact me a month later. Friends and clients have asked me where I found the strength.

There comes a time where you have to realise what you’re worth, what your boundaries are and the vision of life you have for yourself.

Once you know those things, you can white knuckle it and train those neural pathways to hold out for bigger and better behavioural patterns.

Spiritual, single and searching,


*David's name has been changed to ensure that this article is written more as a tool for growth rather than shaming the person… as Queen B sings, ‘My momma taught me better than that’.


L'Erin Alta

L'Erin Alta is a spiritual teacher and leader, who has previously collaborated with the likes of the divine Danielle LaPorte. Believe me when I tell you that this is one powerhouse of a goddess, whose middle name is transformation.

I first met L'Erin when I worked as her co-ordinator for a Desire Map workshop a few years ago, and was taken aback by her wisdom, poise and grace. Fast forward to last year, during one of the toughest times in my life, I hired her as my very own coach to guide me on my journey.

It was an honour to interview her for the NOURISHED podcast, as I truly feel that what we dive deep into strikes at the heart of my clients and you: how to feel worthy.

We discuss:

+ L'Erin's journey from MAC make up artist to industry leader

+ Getting in touch with the 'wild woman' (or man) archetype and finding our voice, regardless of the 'picture perfect' image we create on social media

+ L'Erin's top tips for true transformation

+ How mindfulness plays a role in L'Erin's life

+ Ending destructive and toxic relationships with grace

Find out more about L'Erin at: http://www.sisterfire.com/

I'd love to know what you thought about our conversation in the comments below - how can YOU feel more worthy in your own life?

Thank you for listening!

In love and gratitude



NOURISHED with Luke McLeod

Luke McLeod first came to my attention as one of the partners of Australian entrepreneurial institution, The Entourage. He is now the founder of The Soul Society, whilst speaking and writing about blending business and soulfulness. After discovering we have very dear mutual friends in common, and a passion for consciousness, I knew this had to be my first ever male guest on the NOURISHED podcast.

Many of my clients struggle with romantic relationships and how to live in harmony with the man in their life. As such, this has been one of the juiciest interviews to date, as Luke and I sat down to discuss: 

+ Luke's own journey from entrepreneur to consciousness

+ The role his relationship with his mother played in him becoming a conscious man

+ Romantic relationships from a male 'problem solving' perspective!

+ Detaching from expectations around all relationships

+ The importance of getting on with your own life purpose when in a relationship

+ Thriving in a relationship when your man is not conscious or open minded

+ Balancing the masculine and feminine side in each of us

+ Letting go of control and softening into openness as often as possible

+ Luke's self-care rituals for men

Find out more about Luke at: soulsociety.com.au/

I'd love to know what you thought about our conversation in the comments below - what is one thing you're taking away about the man in your life?

Thank you for listening!

In love and gratitude



fiorella kis-major

Connie Chapman is a Life Coach,  Speaker and Writer empowering big dreamers and soul seekers to create lives they love. Connie is also the host of the top ranking podcast Awaken Radio, which shares heart-felt conversations and inspiring interviews with experts and thought leaders from all over the world.

Known    for    her    authentic,    honest    and    soulful    approach,   Connie's transformative work is all about re-connecting with your heart and inner wisdom,  embodying more peace,  creating a mind set that empowers you, and learning to truly accept and value yourself. 

During this intimate conversation, Connie draws on her own life experience and shares so much food for though. We discuss:

+ Connie's disconnection from self in her 20's and how she transitioned into awareness

+ Filling up your cup from the inside out, rather than using external wellness tools

+ The importance of giving yourself space to absorb and connect to stillness, and how to apply this when in a new relationship

+ Recognising self-sabotage patterns in yourself, how childhood trauma plays its part and Connie's tips to breakthrough

+ Stopping the glorification of busy-ness in order to feel what you need to feel and our relationship with discomfort

Find out more about this goddess at: www.conniechapman.com

Thank you so much for listening!

I'd love to know ONE thing you're taking away from episode in the comments below.

In love and gratitude



We've all been there. The relationship we'd outgrown a long time ago. The friendship that no longer feels in alignment. The job that feels toxic from the moment we walk in the door. We stay, we hold on, we meditate or pray - hoping that some key piece of the puzzle will magically fall in to place. If it did, it would somehow justify everything we'd been through.

The other day, I came across a photo of myself from about 18 months ago, and could not recognise the woman staring back at me. The look in my eyes, the strained smile, both hid (somewhat ineffectively) the sadness in my heart at not living or speaking my truth. A life of playing small, doing whatever I could to 'make things work' and absolutely betraying every whisper of my intuition. Until one day, I took the big step - and left that life.

Fast forward to now, where one of my dating adventures has come to an abrupt end. After four magical and passion fuelled weeks, things began to take a strange turn and I was asked to once again accept less than what I deserved. That old incarnation of me wanted so much to take it, to feast on scraps as I had become accustomed. However, this time, I said goodbye - even before I was ready to. This time, I knew to listen to the flashing red warning signs and the fact that this person was not ready to accept me entirely as I am.

Here's my radical realisation - I could feed into stories of abandonment in my head. Of feeling as though I had done something wrong, once again. Or, sit on the couch eating peanut butter ice cream and watch Netflix through streaming tears. Rather than pull out my Alanis Morissette albums or swear never to date again, I allowed myself to feel what I needed to feel. I went through a period of grieving what could have been, and then - I softened.

I've recently come across the concept of softening being a sign of spiritual maturity. Softening around the harsh edges. I thanked this man for inviting a feeling of love into my life that I had not experienced since my ex husband. I expressed gratitude for the good times that we had shared. We promised to always be there for each other, as we not only had mutual friends but lived close by to one another. This doesn't mean being in constant contact or holding out hope that something may change.

It's been a beautiful experience to honour myself, and to honour what transpired between us - with grace. If you're needing to say goodbye to something or someone, listen to your heart. However, rather than lash out and drag everyone around you down, soften into what you're grateful for about the experience. You don't have to tell the person directly, it could even be in a letter that remains unsent. It's amazing how much less stress it involves and clears the path for what a new day may bring into your life. The very definition of mindfulness in action.

Yours in softness




Chef Danielle Shine is a Natural Foods Chef, Hay House author, TV presenter,  health coach and yoga teacher - my kinda woman!

She worked for many years in the fast-paced world of international fashion and entertainment PR in London. Although she loved her job it didn’t love her back – extremely long hours coupled with never ending demanding projects caused Danielle to fall out of tune with herself and her body.  

Over the course of a couple of years, Danielle re-modelled herself from the inside out, emerging as a healthier, happier, more mindful and passionate human being. 

She lives between London, New York and Sydney cooking her way down a path more purposeful and joyous.   

During this intimate conversation, Danielle draws on her own life experience as a wife and business woman about to launch her first book. We discuss:

+ Why women fall out of tune with their bodies

+ Following your intuition on your journey, even when loved ones disagree

+ Busting the myth between self-ishness and self-lessness, and softening those feelings of guilt

+ Chef Shine's personal self-care rituals - that are non negotiable!

+ 'Upper limit problems' and why we have feelings of not being worthy

+ Looking at who surrounds you and deciding whether their company nourishes you... or not

+ Why our gut health is directly related to our emotions

+ How to make natural food simple and easy

For great recipes and inspiration on conscious living, visit her online home: http://danielleshine.com/

Thank you so much for listening!

I'd love to know ONE thing you're taking away from episode in the comments below.

In love and gratitude



    Thursday night has become sacred in my calendar. No clients. No social engagements. No technology. It has become the night that I date myself AKA #solodatenight

    This new ritual was created out of the fact that I give of myself so much on a daily basis (as many of us feminine, nurturing types do) and felt that there was no space in the week to be with myself.

    We've become so accustomed to filling up every single inch of our lives, with no breathing space to allow everything to integrate. As a woman going through a divorce, I also discovered that I was running away from feelings that I didn't particularly want to feel. Spending this 'quality time' alone has allowed the harsh edges to soften and heal.

    As I've become so vocal and passionate about this night across social media, I'm often asked by my clients for examples of what to do when you date yourself! 

    Might I suggest that you:

    • Read that book you've heard so much about and create a sanctuary around the experience. Pictured above is one of my very first solo date nights on a cool Spring evening last year. 
    • Go to the movies and watch something that lifts you up or allows you to indulge in a part of yourself that rarely gets a chance to play. I went to see 'Fifty Shades of Gray' this Valentine's Day, and had an absolute blast!
    • Turn your bathroom into a day spa and put on a face mask, exfoliate every inch, do your own mani/pedi or put a nourishing treatment in your hair. Personally, it feels like an exercise in self-love to do it this way, and connect with your own body - rather than paying someone else to do it.
    • Treat yourself to that cafe or restaurant you've been dying to try. Dates can also be a daytime activity of course! I've explored dining in and enjoying eating my lunch in peace whilst people watching, or taking away and having a picnic on the beach.
    • Soak in some culture at your local art gallery and wander the aisles as a practice in mindfulness. Absorb yourself in the moment, the painting, the colours and you.
    • Combine dating and wellness with a bush walk and connect to nature, especially if you're in an office all day. Search for the 'must do' walks of your city - I've often discovered coves, bays and forests I never even knew existed!
    • Go to a concert - alone. We're often afraid of venturing out at night to an event without a partner or friend. I recently went to a Deva Premal concert solo, and found it a liberating experience. Sushi dinner beforehand, followed by her stunning voice was simply divine. The concert ran a little too late for me, and I was able to leave when I wanted, without upsetting anyone!

    Single ladies: think of all the things you've always wanted to do with a partner, and do them solo.

    Loved up ladies: take some time away from your beloved to connect back to your essence. Your partner will find you all the more attractive for doing so!

    Let the limitations die around always needing to take care of something or someone else. Feelings of guilt will inevitably arise. You may be tempted to listen to them and put this email in the 'too hard' folder. But don't. Space is true medicine for the heart and solo date nights are such a juicy way to fill up your own cup. To serve from a place of being full, rather than empty and resentful. 

    In love and gratitude



    As Danielle LaPorte, author of 'The Desire Map' and all round spiritual bad ass, walked on to the stage in Sydney last week - I couldn't help but notice her shoes. Not only were they edgy and elegant (two words I would also use to describe her), she used them to walk around with such infectious confidence and purpose. It was as though they would come to form the very foundation of her building for the night - and it began with the word 'hungry'. She opened by asking us, her audience, what we were hungry for. One woman responded "conscious men". I couldn't agree more...

    One of the reasons this woman has become a mentor and spirit animal to me in equal parts is her raw authenticity, matched with practicality. Early on she warned us against keeping laundry lists of self-help tools that we needed to purchase and hide behind. Furthermore, she confessed her reliance in the past on placing too much power in the hands of 'gurus', having sat at the feet of many monks and shamans. It's long been a concern of mine how in the wellness/personal development space there is an over reliance on external approaches such as juicing, colonics, and apps to cover up other addictions. Danielle invited us to pay more attention to our why, rather than who we are trying to please. She summarised beautifully the never ending quest we seem to be on with one of my favourite quotes of the evening:

    "The best self-help is self-compassion"

    Her talk then took a turn into breaking open two great lies that we are facing as conscious women:

    1. The Lie of Inadequacy

    Both Danielle and I were born and raised as Catholic school girls, so I really related to her referring to original sin as a ridiculous concept, when in fact we are all an original blessing. As such, from the time we are children who come to believe that they are inadequate, a strain of self-hatred runs through everything. This would certainly explain why when I left high school, I spent many years treating myself worse than I would anyone else! Danielle referred to a summit where many spiritual leaders attended, including the Dalai Lama. Meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg asked His Holiness about self-hatred, and after a long discussion with the translator, really struggled to understand the concept and responded with "what is that?". 

    I feel that many of my friends and clients (ok, myself included) feel this inadequacy so much at times, that we give our power away often to someone who seemingly knows what is best for us: the media, bosses, partners. Her advice to combat this? It's never about the teacher, it's about resonance. Never allow someone else to make you feel less than, and begin by placing much more value on your own brilliance and worth.

    2. The Lie of Affiliation

    I've never been a huge believer or supporter of interventions in front of hundreds of people as a method to coach or bring about true healing in people's lives. It's true, I run events such as my upcoming talk The Nourished Woman, where women have the chance to ask questions of me and engage in group discussion. I make it my aim to ensure that no one ever feels pressured to share more than they'd like to or before they're ready. Danielle confirmed what I believe to be true: some wounds are meant to be shared in a safe and sacred space. Coercion and peer pressure have no place in spiritual work.

    A few years ago, I attended a weekend workshop that promised to 'change my life and make me a millionaire'. The days were long, the speaker a seemingly charismatic Australian businessman who pressured and prodded everyone present and managed to get all of us to break down at least once. By the end of the weekend, I was excommunicated from the 'group', because I didn't want to pay $8k for a 1 week retreat that would 'change my life and make me a millionaire'. I believe it is this sort of experience Danielle was referring to when she said that "We have to get through some lies to get to our truth. We have become excessively tolerant, foolishly compassionate and stick things out way too long".

    The key to taking charge of this lie is boundaries. By standing up for ourselves, even when we feel we want to die, we are rooted in self-compassion. It's also a concept that is over talked about and underused. 

    The juiciest part of the evening is when she opened up the floor for a Q&A session.

    I've summarised into #truthbombs the nuggets of wisdom that flowed freely from this brilliant mind:

    The State of the Planet:

    The more awake and mindful you become, the more pain you feel.

    Spiritual activism is a commitment to being informed.

    Share your truth on a regular basis. 

    Silence makes us complicit.

    Tough Conversations: 

    The boss ain't always right, but the boss is boss.

    Give the person a 'shit sandwich': "I love you, you f***ed up, I love you".


    Silence equals self-betrayal.

    Don't allow it to mess with your self trust.

    Guiding Young Women:

    Talk openly to young teens about sex and their bodies.

    Watch the documentary Embrace with the young women in your lives. 

    How Does Love Reward the Brave:

    Love is the cousin of generosity.

    It feels erotic to give. 

    Goals With Soul:

    Get clear on how you want to feel.

    Avoid core desired feelings that rely on other people making you feel that way e.g. adored, honoured, supported.

    Calling Your Power Back:

    Detox from the life of authority.

    Have a real relationship with your spirituality.

    Leave the things you are devoted to to really find out what you're devoted to.


    Narcissism is a disease from lack of self-worth.

    Unbotherability is the fruit of the spirit.

    Forgiveness (my favourite one):

    It will set you free.

    Forced forgiveness derails your healing process.

    Be grateful that they shat on you, and be especially grateful for your strength in the situation.

    How to Forgive When You're Not Ready:

    1. Admit that you don't want to forgive, you'd rather be right.

    2. Forgive yourself for not wanting to.

    3. See what happens.

    As she waxed lyrical on the above topics, you got a palpable sense of just how much the audience was captivated by her every word, myself very much included.

    Her passion, conviction and warmth made her all the more relatable and easy to be inspired by. Adding poet to the long list of her attributes, she ended the night with one that I unfortunately could not jot down the entirety of. But I will share with you the lines that summarised so beautifully my deepest wish for every woman reading this:

    "May your beauty dawn on you...

    Slow down if you need to, but don't ever stop."


    In love and gratitude




    When I first met Kelly, I was captivated by her shining blue eyes - that were incredibly sad. It seemed to me that she wanted so much to smile, but had perhaps forgotten how. After various interactions at workshops I ran and speaking online, she made the decision to become a Wellness Coaching client of mine. 

    It turned out that Kelly's sadness ran much deeper than I could ever have imagined - she truly believed that she was trapped in both her financial story and her love life. As a result, she had put on weight and was living a life that she felt was out of her control. How many of us can relate to this feeling? It's a dangerous game when we come to believe that we are victims of circumstance.

    The reality is, we're free to recreate our truth in any given moment.

    To begin with, we ensured that every single wellness coaching session resulted in practical steps that Kelly could straight away implement into her life - mind, body and spirit. We also created a strategy for her to take control of her financial situation, so she could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I could noticeably see a change in her from one session to the next, as though the weight of years of worrying had literally lifted from her shoulders. It's often the case that the small steps we take on our wellness journey seem completely unsurmountable at first. Afterwards, we wonder why it took us so long in the first place!

    Her self confidence had plummeted and this beautiful goddess had convinced herself to stay in a loveless marriage, where her every move was controlled and questioned. This is not to say that relationships are always easy, or that they should be given up on at the first sign of trouble. However, I am a firm believer that when your significant other needs to control how often you leave the house and becomes anxious when you're not there, it's time to strongly reconsider things. Kelly had been to marriage counselling and communicated her desires for more freedom, but the longer she stayed, the more her life became less her own. She showed such tremendous strength and self belief when finally, she moved out. We discussed every step of the separation, and it can be truly helpful to have an objective third party by your side during difficult transitions in life.

    Kelly continues to come to my live events, and every time I see her, I am blown away by how different this woman is to the one I first met! She has cut her hair and changed its colour. She's lost weight and her eyes are glowing. She lives happily alone, comes and goes as she pleases. Previously not a risk taker, she now has a trip booked to India and Everest base camp!

    Let me be clear, none of this was easy for Kelly, and these changes happened over the course of 6 months. The main reason I would say she managed to change the direction of her life was commitment to showing up - to each wellness coaching session and to herself. 

    Holding space for and thus witnessing such change is my purpose, passion, vision and mission.

    Let me guide you through the turbulent waters in your own life. I have my own coach, and live first hand the empowering nature of this relationship.

    This week only, I'm offering 20% off my wellness coaching packages. 

    To accept this offer, reach out to me via email: fiorella@thenourishinggoddess.com

    We'll lock in a free 30 minute, no obligation Skype session for us to get to know each other and for me to explain the process and packages.

    This offer ends Sunday, the 26th of February.

    I look forward to connecting with you.

    In love and gratitude



    I have a somewhat exciting confession to make... after a 2016 that had the potential to leave me shrivelled up like an old, brown Autumn leaf on the sidewalk - I've slowly started dipping my toe into the dating game! It's terrifying, hilarious, cringe worthy and exhilarating all at once. Mostly, because I've come to realise that relationships are your biggest opportunity for personal growth. No book, conference, webinar or podcast will crack you wide open or make you snap shut faster than entering into a relationship, of any kind, with another human being.

    It's come to my attention that I automatically not only accept but expect to be treated like far less than the goddess that I am. And when I am actually shown respect, I start to wonder what I've done wrong. Oy vey! What a discovery to make... 

    When recounting about a recent 8 hour date to a relatively new friend, I received some feedback that really blew me away. "Oh I SEE now! It's not them, it's YOU!" Ouch. "YOU'RE the reason why you're still single!" Double ouch. 

    After debriefing with a soul sister who has been in my life for longer than 5 minutes, she gave me some advice that I would like to share with you today about inner circles. 

    Write down on a piece of paper the FIVE people whose opinion means the most to youGo ahead, I'll wait.

    My recommendation is keep this piece of paper in your wallet, or jot it down into Evernote. Refer to it anytime unwarranted advice comes your way. If it's not from one of these five people, and it doesn't ring true - ignore it. Pictured above is #1 on my list. Sister from another mister for close to 10 years, this woman knows me better than I know myself at times. What she says, is definitely taken on board.

    Because my entire life does not need to be approved by everyone. And you know, I don't want you to feel obligated to weigh in on every issue I ever deal with. I'm not a big fan of preaching, I deeply dislike the concept of conversion. I much prefer pure love. 

    It's been a long standing habit of mine however to be a people pleaser (READ: I just want to be loved!). I still put too much stock into what others think of me and my decisions. However I've recently gone through such a detox of people who do not have my best interests at heart and who have shown their true colours as humans and friends. And I feel so much more in alignment as a result. Because my entire life is exactly that - mine. And I'm the one who has to ultimately make the heavy choices.

    The more we trust in ourselves, the more in alignment we will be with our inner circle.

    In love and gratitude


    Tell someone that they're part of your inner circle, press share below xo



    The Soulful Woman

    Hello beautiful goddess and welcome to 2017!

    In November last year, I taught at a meditation retreat in stunning Byron Bay, taking some much needed time out once it had finished. I took myself on a day trip to the quaint town of Bangalow to spend some time looking at the unique stores there and mingle with the locals. It was upon entering the local health food store, that my heart strings told me I was in need of a new oracle deck - for my clients of course ;)

    Out popped at once the most stunning cards I had ever come across, and I've seen a few in my time as a coach! They were totally in line with my business and me as a person. On the back of the box were phrases like "nourishing energy", "nurture your feminine soul" and "trust in divine timing". It was like a home coming of the soul for me! The box itself was a deep, lush red - my favourite colour. The name of the deck was what sold it to me though, "The Soulful Woman". I paid for them with gusto and drove back to my beachside bungalow to test drive them.

    Since then, I use them not only for my own guidance, but in each coaching session with my clients. The language and the images are so beautifully, yet powerfully crafted, that they are an amazing vessel of change. I knew once I witnessed this phenomenon with my clients that I had to reach out to the creators, Shushann Movsessian and Gemma Summers. 

    In episode 2 of the NOURISHED podcast, we dive pretty deep into a plethora of issues close to the heart of womankind such as stepping into feminine flow and seeing it as a source of strength, that feeling we all have of 'not being enough' and the quest of the modern woman for connection and nourishment PLUS their top tips for 2017.

    You can find out more about The Soulful Woman and the guidance cards here: www.facebook.com/thesoulfulwoman

    Please access the podcast here:

    Thank you so much for listening.

    In love and gratitude


    NOURISHED: Official Podcast Launch!


    Hello beautiful goddess

    You've asked for it, and I've listened. The monthly interviews are fun to watch, but you wanted to be able to listen to them in the car, at the gym, on your commute home. 

    It is with much excitement that I officially launch my podcast, NOURISHED! In episode 1, I have the honour of speaking with journalist and astrologer, Yasmin Boland. This woman has some serious knowledge about the planets and how they affect our health, mood, relationships and work life. 

    Yasmin has recently released a best selling book through Hay House Publishing called 'Moonology'. During my time in London, I went to a workshop Yasmin was running to coincide with the launch of the book, and participated in manifesting some New Moon intentions. Each and every one of them came to pass, and our time together was a blessing in disguise, as it helped me to navigate the tumultuous waters in a stormy sea. 


    My wish is that our podcast together provides you with some deep insight into how you can begin to use to the power of the Moon each month to release what doesn't serve you, in order for the new and the fresh to manifest.

    You can find out more about Yasmin and order a copy of her wonderful book at at http://moonologybook.moonology.com/

    Please access the podcast here:

    I'd love to hear from you in the comments below! Do you prefer a podcast to videos? How will you begin to connect with the moon in a practical yet meaningful way?

    Thank you so much for listening!

    In love and gratitude



    “A woman should be two things: who and what she wants.”

    - Coco Chanel

    Hello beautiful goddess

    Tonight's Super Moon in Taurus is an opportunity to re-evaluate your goals and how you want to achieve them. Taurus is a sign of stability and practicality, so a wonderful night for stillness to reflect within.

    After my recent Byron Bay retreat, run together with my mentor Tom Cronin of The Stillness Project, I took some much needed time off at the end to do exactly that - reflect within. Byron is known for it's tranquil and healing energy, and I felt held so beautifully by the sound of waves and the gorgeous weather. After one of the most tumultuous years of my life, I wanted to let go of so much that at times, threatened to drown me in a sea of sorrow.

    I'd like to share with you 3 tools I used in my down time to shake off the past and move forward with confidence, ready for 2017 that is quite literally around the corner!

    1. Call Back Your Power

    Danielle LaPorte, author of The Desire Map, is my go to guru for all things spirit and business. On a recent podcast, she shared that whenever she moves out of a home, she smudges the whole space and then declares "I call all of my power back to me now. I am whole. I am complete." Danielle then repeats this mantra until she feels all of her power back in her body, ready to move on to the new place.

    I went about this slightly differently and imagined all of the homes I have lived in this year, and thanks to my supportive network of friends and family, there have been quite a few...! I visualised any energy stores that I have left behind at the different places coming back into my body, one by one... I cannot begin to describe what a powerful experience this was, and how I truly felt  much more energised. Continue to repeat this mantra until you feel yourself full from the inside out.

    2. Write It Out

    When a relationship ends, there is often so much left unsaid and even when closure does happen it can often feel unsatisfying if common ground isn't reached. I took a deep breath on the front porch of the beach house I was staying at and wrote two letters: one to my ex husband, and one to my former London lover. They both started off with Dear X, and that is where their similarities started, and ended.

    The first letter was more slowly written, full of sadness and disappointment that had built up over 6 years. The second letter was written furiously, mostly in capital letters and with - a lot of swear words. The sadness and the anger were both emotions that I needed to acknowledge, to release and finally to transcend. By the time I signed off both letters, I felt a huge weight lifting off my shoulders, and I truly felt that on some level they had both heard what I had to say.

    What happened next was fascinating... the letter to my ex husband burned slowly and steadily, as if the sadness and tears were still lingering on the pages. The letter to my former lover literally burst into flames in the kitchen sink before my very eyes. Whatever the reason for the difference in styles, I went back outside feeling lighter and freer than I have all year!

    3. Call It In

    When my Wellness Coaching clients ask how they can call in a new love into their lives, I always recommend writing a soul mate wish list. Write down the qualities that you seek in a partner, no less than 10, and notice how it makes you feel to see your dreams come alive on paper.

    I had completed this exercise many years before meeting my ex husband, and he didn't exactly match a lot of what I wrote, which should have been a sign. With the former list now burnt in the kitchen sink also (it's truly a miracle that beach house didn't burn down!), I set about writing a fresh, new one. The very first item on that list is kindness and gentleness when speaking to me - as much and as often as possible. I have had enough of being yelled at by angry men, a pattern that I previously continued to attract and am no longer willing to accept. 

    The lesson now is to treat myself what that same level of kindness and gentleness first. Keep this also in mind when writing your list. How are you treating yourself presently that would invite another person to do the same?

    I completed all three parts in the one long afternoon, and then had a very quiet night in to recalibrate all of the learning and healing that took place. You're very welcome to do the same, or take them on in bite size pieces at a time. 

    My greatest hope is that these tools bring about empowered change in your life, beautiful goddess.

    I would LOVE to hear from you in the comments below, and I vow to personally respond to each one. Have you tried any of the tools out? How did you feel afterwards? 

    Know anyone who needs some empowered change? Please share this post with them.

    In love and gratitude



    "The power of the heart

    is to be connected with who you are

    at the deepest level"

    Hello beautiful goddess

    Do you find it difficult to get out of your busy mind, where thoughts whirl around like a tornado? Do you use your mind a lot in your line of work, and find it difficult to listen to the guidance of your heart? Have you been through a tumultuous period and want to let go of your burdens?

    If so, I wrote this meditation especially for you!

    Teaching meditation is an absolute honour, and although recording my meditation album fulfilled a lifelong dream, I have been wanting to find a way to say THANK YOU, to you - my precious audience.

    Once a month, I will be recording a free guided meditation for you to weave into your meditation practice. 

    Inspired by the documentary 'The Power of the Heart'this meditation invites you to make that journey of connection from the head to the heart, in a safe and sacred space.

    I really hope that you enjoy it precious one, and find some time in your hectic schedule to be with yourself, by yourself, for yourself.

    I'd love to hear from you in the comments below, and let me know how you found the meditation and if you'd like me to continue with this monthly series! I personally respond to every comment I receive xx


    “I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
    Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
    So I sat quietly, agreed politely
    I guess that I forgot I had a choice
    I let you push me past the breaking point
    I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything”

    -       Katy Perry, ‘Roar’

    This post has been brewing for a while, percolating in my body at a cellular level, needing to be told. 2016 has been one of the hardest years of my life – not the worst, but involved so many swift changes that I am only now just catching my breath. This has also been the case for many of my nearest and dearest, and as much as I would love to quote astrological reasoning’s, in my case I feel it had been a long time coming.

    Amazingly, I’ve been able to stay focused on you, my beautiful audience and coach my clients with all the presence I was able to muster from the depths of my soul. When you’re an industry leader or someone’s mentor, it can be hard to step into vulnerability and admit – “I’m human, I make mistakes, I have no idea what I’m doing either”. It hasn’t been the kick ass year for my business I had envisioned, no TV appearances or as many live events as I had planned, but I’ll acknowledge that the old needed to leave to make way for the new.

    In March, I left my partner of six years and husband for two. It had become so very evident to me that we were wildly moving into very different directions and energetic vibrations. I deserved better, and quite frankly, so did he. I’m often asked why I stayed so long if I was unhappy, and the truth is encapsulated by one word: fear. Fear of being single, of never having children, of my financial situation, of being with him, of being without him, having to move, who would have custody of our fur baby etc etc etc.

    I remember hearing of business coach Jenn Scalia’s story of divorce and financial debt. She took her son, and moved in with her parents. After being down and out for some time, she pulled herself out of the hole and created an empire that now earns six figures. Something in this tale really resonated with me on a deep level, and it also struck the fear of goddess in me… I did not want to lose it all. I was content with a life that looked stunning on Instagram, but felt hollow in the flesh. I knew that on some level that would be me one day, but I ignored that little voice inside, too afraid to play big and step into my power.

    All women I speak to when they are breaking up from a relationship tell me that on some level, they knew this was not the right person for them. Denial is a very handy tool that our ego loves to use to keep us safe in the short term, stuck in the long term. It’s terrifying for me to think that so many women stay through physical and verbal abuse, drug and alcohol addiction or even just completely different value systems for years, decades or the rest of their natural life. I also stayed because I didn’t think I deserved any better. Yep, The Nourishing Goddess, preacher of self-love, thought “maybe this is as good as it gets”.

    It didn’t get better though. I then went straight from the frying pan, into the fire by moving in with a man shortly after arriving in London. When you’re starved of affection, attention and appreciation, as Katy Perry sings “I stood for nothing, so I feel for everything”. What started out as a passionate and intense courtship, turned into my greatest lesson in life thus far. I would never advise a client to enter a serious relationship straight after leaving a marriage – ever. I still can’t explain to myself why I did, other than it felt right, it felt destined. People in spiritual circles talk about soul contracts, two people who make an agreement with each other before even meeting. We could talk for hours about any subject, he made me feel like the most beautiful woman alive and was on a very similar path to me – or so it seemed.

    I’ve never blogged about this before, because as mentioned, I’m still desperately searching inside to find out how things got out of hand so quickly. Soon I was being asked to cook three meals a day, and yelled at or admonished if it wasn’t the case. The pressure being placed on me financially was absurd, and it felt as though my clients were paying for his lavish choices. The constant fighting that eventually became par for the course and alcohol abuse on his behalf was reminding me all too much of my failed marriage. It took him physically shaking my head with anger, because he didn’t like how I had spoken to a driver as we crossed to the road, for me to become fed up. How had this become my life?!

    This was not the clean break I had needed. This was not the life of health, wealth and love I envisioned. My nervous system was shot, and anxiety attacks were occurring on a daily basis. I grabbed the bull by the horns, and moved out. Admitting this failure to myself was hard, I had really wanted this to work out, as so many women do. Admitting that many lines I had never allowed a man to cross had been crossed. How could I possibly call myself a Wellness Coach and advocate of women, if I had allowed this to become my reality?

    To make matters worse, I desperately wanted to go home to Sydney and recover from everything. There were no flights home for nearly three weeks as Londoner’s were all flying over during school holidays. I cannot express my gratitude enough to all the friends who opened their homes, couches and spare beds to me during that time. My worst nightmare had finally come to pass: I was broke, getting divorced and fleeing the most toxic relationship of my life. I told this to a soul sister of mine who said, “congratulations, you’ve lived through your worst fear and survived”. This realisation hit me like a lightning bolt – this was a gift in disguise. Even diamonds need immense pressure to be created, and this was my baptism by fire.

    So here I am, living with my parents now and feeling like the phoenix who has risen from the ashes. I’ve found a strength inside myself that I never knew existed, and can feel a much richer, more rewarding life slowly taking shape before me. Self-love and my emotional and physical wellbeing have taken centre stage, as I walk my talk more than I ever have before. Once again, the gratitude I feel to my Sydney tribe cannot be expressed more deeply, as I have discovered who my true friends are. There are those who have loved, supported, listened and advised me for hours on end. There are those who have betrayed, judged, lost interest or connection with me. Rather than approach these changes with fear, I feel blessed for learning the truth of where I stand.

    It is my hope that my story will inspire those of you in an unhappy, abusive or toxic relationship to really reflect on your hearts desires. I no longer want to attract angry men who abuse alcohol – this prototype has well and truly cleared from my life. Each day my aim is to become more gentle and loving of myself, with the knowledge that this will come back to me tenfold. 

    I'd love to hear from you in the comments below, as I finally take the leap into sharing my truth with you, beautiful goddess.

    In love and gratitude



    Hello beautiful goddess

    Saturday night we experienced a very powerful Full Moon eclipse.

    According to Mystic Mama: "We can expect some lightning strikes going off here especially in our relationships, but likely for the good – meaning we may be disclosing what has been holding us back or out of alignment with our heart."

    You may have experienced some real shifts this past week, leading up toSaturday - I know I did! A sense of letting go of all that does not serve me, a time to let go of 'the story' and make room for new, fresh energy into life.

    Teaching meditation is an absolute honour, and although recording my meditation album fulfilled a lifelong dream, I have been wanting to find a way to say THANK YOU, to you - my precious audience.

    Once a month, I will be recording a free guided meditation for you to weave into your meditation practice. 

    Inspired by the Full Moon, this meditation invites you to release all that doesn't serve you from every single cell in your body.

    I really hope that you enjoy it precious one, and find some time in your hectic schedule to be with yourself, by yourself, for yourself.

    I'd love to hear from you in the comments below, and let me know how you found the meditation and if you'd like me to continue with this monthly series! I personally respond to every comment I receive xx


    Hello beautiful goddess

    I'd like to keep things simple this week, and further inspire you on your wellness journey.

    Putting everyone's needs before your own, is not self-care.

    Never speaking your truth out of fear of other's reactions, is not self-care.

    Not booking that doctor's appointment or haircut, is not self-care.

    Filling every spare moment in your calendar with no free time, is not self-care.

    Using food, alcohol, drugs, sex or shopping to feel whole, is not self-care.

    Self-care is: loving every part of yourself, even the parts that you'd like to improve.

    Self-care is: eating your meals in a calm and mindful environment as often as possible.

    Self-care is: saying no to relationship's that are abusive on any level.

    Self-care is: inviting your light to shine and playing bigger than the ego allows you to.

    Self-care is: living a life where you nourish the goddess within.

    How can you take better care of yourself this week?

    Write your self-care promise in the comments below, and I'll keep you accountable.

    I personally read and respond to every comment I receive.

    PS Thank you for your patience and support this year as my life has gone through several growth spurts and changes. I feel honoured to have women like you in my life xx

    In love and gratitude